On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
