I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
