I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
