I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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