Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
