Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A bitchslap is in order.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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