I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
