i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
