I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
