What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
