mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
