I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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