so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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