i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
