How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
