So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
