oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
