I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize