oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize