guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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