Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
