You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
