I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
