I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
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Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
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The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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