That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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