So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
