We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
