A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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