i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize