All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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