Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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