but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
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Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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