grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
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We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
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Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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