I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
