There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
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I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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