worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
