I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages