Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
There are leaves in my underwear?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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