guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize