Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
