...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
