I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
