Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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