What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
