btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
