i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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