if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
