Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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