Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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