butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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