somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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