Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
