i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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